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Saturday, 21 November 2009

Shared Tidbits #3-- Oops

Just recently, while reading a fellow Xangan's entry about forgetting something significant, I realized that I find a little forgetfulness to be an endearing quality in people. It makes me want to hug them. Another minute later I realized that this probably has a lot to do with the fact that my dad was often absent-minded. He had a genius of a brain, but he was decidedly handicapped when it came to...oh, I don't know...remembering where he put his shoes. But I loved it.

It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. The sky was deceptively blue, looking like July in the middle of October. The thirteen-year-old girl was lounging on the couch, absorbed in a movie on the TV, when her mother walked past, blocking the view.
"Okay, I'm heading out. You're going with Daddy tonight to the Adults Sunday School party. You'll be taking brownies, okay?"
"Yep! Love you, Mom. See you later."
"Bye, honey. Bye bud!" The girl's father came around the corner for a quick kiss.

The afternoon wore on, the girl and her father entertaining themselves as they liked, until 4pm. Her father looked at the clock in surprise. "We better get going on these brownies, Pumpkin!"
"Okay dad..." She joined him in the kitchen.
He rummaged around for several minutes looking for the recipe, and found it laid out on the counter for him by the girl's mother. "Ah, here we go. Okay, we need the flour...vegetable oil...eggs..." As he rattled off ingredients, he spun around the kitchen, opening cupboards and putting each item on the counter. Once everything was assembled, they got started. The girl measured, and the father mixed, and when the girl's mother came home, the brownies were in the preheated oven.

It was nearly 6pm when the timer went off...for the third time. The girl's father pulled out the "brownies" and a look of frustrated bewilderment was on his face. "I don't get it! We did everything right!" He checked the plug for the oven. "It's definitely on..." He tested the hot air with a hand. "And it's definitely hot enough..." He plunked the dish on the stove and shut the oven door with arguably more force than was strictly necessary. "So why isn't it DONE?!"
The girl's mother came in for the rescue. "Tell me what you put in it."
The girl was watching things unfold with only a little curiosity. She had measured and poured like she had been told. If her father couldn't make brownies, she chalked it up to the long list of common-sense things he seemed to have trouble with. Like buying the right light bulbs or keeping all the manuals in the same place. She listened as he rattled off the ingredients they added, hearing him emphasize each one as a carefully planned action. She saw each of those actions play back in her mind.
And then her eyes went wide. Her stomach did a little flip-flop.
"Daaaad..."
"Yeah?"
"Did...Did we add the flour?"
Silence reigned.
The girl's father allowed a small half-smile and closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped a little and he shook his head at himself. "No. I don't think we did."
The girl's mother sat down in the kitchen and nearly went red in the face from laughing.
"Oh shut up," said the girl's father, that smile still in place as he put a lid on the dish of "brownies" and grabbed his coat and keys.
Gasping for breath, the mother managed to say, "You--you can't TAKE it!!!"
"Oh yes we can," he shot back. "C'mon Pumpkin. We have to stop at the store for some vanilla ice cream to go with our signature brownie-flavored chocolate sauce!" He gave a wink and stepped out into the crisp night air, the thirteen-year-old at his heels.
***
~V
Vanity, Vanity

"Another video??? What the heck, V!"
Awww, shaddap. I like it. And I would have done an audio clip except those are harder for me to figure out than a video. Go figure. Lyrics are below, and enjoy.

You’re So Vain (Xanga Parody)

--original song performed by Carly Simon
--lyrics by ME

You logged on to your PC

Like you were drinkin’ your fav’rite shot

Your fingers delicately poised over the keys

Ready to write a lot

You had one eye on the monitor

And the other on the clock

And all the time you dreamed someone would comment,

Someone would comment, and

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this blog is about you

Don’t you? Don’t you?

You have to check your inbox

To see the prints of Xangan feet

And if the number of props remains unchanged

You swear that you will leave

Because your blog is important as

Anyone can see

You so deserve to be featured on the front page,

Featured on the front page

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this blog is about you

Don’t you? Don’t you?

You so deserve to be featured on the front page,

Featured on the front page

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this blog is about you

Don’t you? Don’t you?

Well we all know we think we’re something special

True humility there is none.

If we have to sink to new lows, we will

To get some rec’s—please just one?

Well you’re on Xanga all the time

And when you’re not, you think

Of when you can login and start a new blog trend,

Start a new blog trend, and

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

You’re so vain, I’ll bet you think this blog is about you

Don’t you? Don’t you?

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you

You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you
More? You Seriously Want MORE???
So I just spent a week and a half answering something like 60 questions about myself from about 25 different Xangans. Then I spent all afternoon one day making vlogs where I told you MORE about myself. I’ve been thinking I better get back to regular blogging real quick before this whole narcissistic tendency becomes a habit and I lose all my internet friends (heh). So imagine my surprise when I get tagged SEVERAL TIMES to do the whole 25 Facts thing.

Seriously, people??

I know I’m not THAT interesting... But dang it, I can’t get away from doing this because I’m just like that. You say to me “this is the game, these are the rules, you have to play” and I say “Okay!” in a really chipper voice.

*sigh*

Alright. This will be the LAST LIST I make about myself for quite some time (I hope). And I’m not tagging anybody in particular. I guess, if you comment, consider yourself tagged?
1. I am a rule follower, generally speaking. I feel uncomfortable when I don’t know the rules for any given situation or experience or even emotional reactions. I feel secure when I know I’m doing something “the right way”.
2. I am currently about 20 lbs heavier than I should be. I’m not fat, I’m not even overweight for my height, according to healthy weight guidelines. However, I feel my best when I’m 20 lbs lighter than this because that’s where I end up when I’m exercising and eating a well-rounded diet. I’m not doing either of those things right now. It makes me upset to think about.
3. My PJs of choice would have to be a really big T-shirt. Yeah. Just the shirt. Livin’ on the edge… :p
4. I have very nice teeth. I do not deserve them. I’m terrible about taking good care of my teeth and I always have been. Getting better, but it won’t matter because my wisdom teeth are ruining my pretty straight lines and soon enough I’ll be snaggle-toothed. I’m oddly okay with this.
5. I’ve become overly sensitive to smells since having children. If Eric burps—just a tiny one--in the car, I have to stick my head out the window to calm the nausea in my stomach.
6. The skin on my stomach… Wait, wait. Never mind. Nobody wants to hear about that. Um… I actually do enjoy the way I look sometimes. I think my butt looks pretty good most of the time. Could look better, but it ain’t bad. Haha…
7. I had a favorite stuffed animal growing up called Christmas Bear. When I was about ten, I lost him. A year or so later, he was discovered…under my parents mattress. Apparently I had laid him down while my dad was flipping their mattress and I forgot about him. I cried when he was found. My mom laughed at me. Hehe, that’s how we roll…
8. I love the look of movies and TV shows from the 1960’s to early 1980’s. Something about them just makes it instantly fun to watch. I’ve gone through entire seasons of I Spy, The Wonderyears, and Silver Spoons and I love movies like To Sir, With Love, Charade, Operation Petticoat, and the eternal Breakfast Club brat pack types.
9. I collect journals unintentionally. I have many, many journals. I used to have many, many more than I do now but then my house was struck by lightning and everything in our bedroom closet was basically incinerated, which was where I kept my journals…along with stuff like my wedding dress, that my m-i-l sewed for me from scratch… Yeah, it was sad.
10. I can appreciate excellent fashion. I just can’t wear it. Even if it fit me, it wouldn’t look right on me. I’m just not fashionable.
11. What I am is cute. I don’t think I’ll ever truly get used to this idea. I don’t think I’ll ever outgrow it either. *sigh*
12. I did gymnastics for six years as a kid, and I could do perfect cartwheels, the splits, routines on the uneven bars and the balance beam, tumbles of all sorts (except back handsprings because I was scared), and launch myself off the vault like nobody’s business. However, I could NEVER seem to master a headstand. Handstand? No problem. How long would you like me to be upside-down? But headstand? Maybe 5 seconds, if I was lucky. For years, I’ve wondered if this means I have a pointy head.
13. I was once at a sleepover when I was about 11 where the girls were all into Ouijia boards and levitating people and stuff. I sabotaged their attempts by throwing pillows. Then they all tried this "bloody Mary" nonsense where they would go in the bathroom IN THE DARK, recite "bloody Mary" seven times, and then come out screaming... They insisted it would cause you to be injured. I rolled my eyes and insisted it wouldn't. They dared me to try. I did it. Nothing happened. We moved on to playing freeze tag. Preteen skeptic FTW!
14. I can cross my eyes, wiggle my ears, make my tongue curl like a hot dog bun AND scrunch up like a clover, and my back cracks so loud my dad used to call me Jiffy Pop. Talent? :p
15. My favorite playground spot was always the swings when I was little. I loved them. I’d swing for an hour straight if I could back then. When I got into junior high, something happened to my equilibrium and I can’t swing for longer than five minutes before getting motion sick. I hate getting older sometimes…
16. I think I might be more excited about one day potentially being “Mother of the Groom” than of potentially being “Mother of the Bride”. “Mother of the Groom” just gets to look special. “Mother of the Bride” seems more stressful. And I hated planning my wedding, which turned out great, so I can’t imagine what it’ll be like for Celeste and me later on.
17. I haven’t worn my wedding ring for 6-7 months now. … No worries, it’s just because when I’m post-baby-chubby I can’t wear it. It’s a 4-and-a-half. My fingers are REALLY small. That is, they’re small until I get into those last few months of pregnancy and for a few months after. Once I get my butt into gear about losing the weight, it won’t be a problem.
18. I sometimes wish I could be really good at Youtube videos. Like happyslip or communitychannel. I love that stuff! *sigh* That’s probably as close as I’ve ever gotten to wishing I was a famous movie star, haha.
19. When I see myself in videos or pictures, I don’t look the way that I see myself in my head. Nothing drastic, it just always catches me a bit by surprise. “I look like that? Huh.”
20. I have an unfortunate and lame enjoyment of fairly dumb TV shows that have full seasons on DVD. We’re talking That’s So Raven, iCarly, The Suite Life on Deck… Real :facepalm: stuff. THEY MAKE ME LAUGH. Don’t judge me! :p
21. When I go to my favorite little coffe shop, I usually get a decaf white mocha. I like white chocolate. ^_^
22. Having to discipline my eating habits offends me. Literally. I am offended that I have to say “Victoria, you can’t eat that.” Talk about stubborn…
23. I am having trouble remembering how to go through the stages of newborn babies. I've done this three times in the last four years. WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER????
24. This number reminds me of Christmas.
25. I cut myself some bangs when I was something like four or five years old because I thought all my friends had bangs. May I remind you that I have curly hair? Yes, I made a puffball on the front of my head. Nice one, Victoria.

Friday, 20 November 2009

"And Should I Die Before I Wake..."

God saved my life today.

No, seriously. My life and the lives of my three kids.
We were driving home from my mom's after a long-ish day of busy activities. I didn't think I was that tired, but as I kept driving, the monotony of the journey coupled with the heat in the car and the soothing sound of a narrator's voice (I was listening to an audiobook to help Josiah fall asleep) began to make me very, very drowsy. Most of my 45-min ride home is 55mph on country roads. Drowsy is not an option, folks. Well...it never should be, but you get the picture. This was bad. So I turned the heat off at the front of the van and rolled down my window for a bit to wake myself up. It worked, and then I got cold, so I closed it again.

Baaaaaad idea. Very bad idea.

I had just gone through an intersection and was about 10 minutes from home, when I fell asleep. I don't remember closing my eyes or even feeling drowsy at all, but the next thing I knew, my eyes were open and I was screaming.
I was screaming because what I saw in front of me was not the road. What I saw was a tilted view of half-road and half-ditch.

You have to understand--I am not a good driver. I know this, and I usually compensate by being an extremely cautious driver. I do not have good reflexes or instincts when it comes to managing a car. I can barely back out of a parking spot successfully the first time. I don't know what it is, but driving is definitely not a strength of mine.
So I was amazed that when faced with the possibility of total WIPEOUT with my three young kids in the van, my mind was absolutely, perfectly clear for about half-a-second.
I knew just how much force on the steering wheel I would need to pull us out of the ditch.
I knew just how much correction I would need to keep us in our lane and out of the oncoming traffic.
I performed this action at about 55 mph, perfectly.
Perfectly.

That. Does. Not. Happen.
Not with me. And especially not after having been asleep less than a second earlier!

I kept going for a few feet and then turned into a driveway. I was shaking so bad... I called Eric and explained what happened (essentially nothing, thank you God), and he... Well, I was going to say he calmed me down, but actually he just told me to roll my window all the way down for the rest of the ride home and turn the heat totally off and "DON'T FALL ASLEEP." Thanks hon'.
(Actually, he was very freaked, and very frustrated, and very relieved all at once. Eric doesn't handle multiple emotions too well.)

Celeste asked me what was wrong and if the car was broken. I turned around to explain.
She had unbuckled the first buckle of her carseat at some point during the drive.We had almost crashed and my daughter wasn't even safe at the time. We had a...talk about that... I explained why it was so important for her to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! heh. I was justified in freaking out for that, I think.

Seriously, guys. I know it wasn't an amazing near-death story, but I wouldn't have it any other way. :p
I was going so fast and I was so unaware of what was going on and a million things that could have happened didn't.
And the mere fact that I was able to put the van exactly where it needed to be...

God saved my kids today.

God saved me.

~Extremely Thankful Victoria

Monday, 16 November 2009

V is for...

...VLOGGING!
Here it is, my first honest-to-goodness vlog. Enjoy!
(By the way, I just have to say that I hate that couch. Someday I will recover it or replace it, but for now I have to deal with it. Ugh. So ugly. Just wanted to keep my home fashion reputation in tact. *snorts*)

And if you're feeling REALLY fascinated (haha), here's the Wall of Awesome vid:

Have a good one and I'll catch you guys later!
~Vlogging Victoria (Hehe, I love that word...vlog....vlllllog....hehe)